How To Start A Riot

Welcome, lasses and lads! Do you see the picture above this text? That is a picture of an eight year-old boy named Winston. Winston likes ice cream, baseball, and coloring.

Lately, Winston has been watching a television program featuring riots, bar fights, prostitution, gang violence, anal rape, quicksand, and mental illnesses. Winston took extra notice to the riots. They looked fun! They looked so much fun that he thought he would start his own, only if he knew how. Winston approached me and asked, "How do I start a riot?" If you would like to know how to start a riot like Winston, then read below to learn! You can start a riot in only 5 EASY STEPS!

Before I get into the steps, let's look at the types of riots you can create to maximize your fun!

• Food Fights

If you are a student and eat lunch in a cafeteria, this one will probably fit you the best! Food fights are an easy way to humiliate people, too! This one is probably the most non-lethal riot you can choose!

• Prison Riots

If you are a convicted felon or prisoner, this one will suit you greatly! A prison riot will almost always result in death! Hooray! I love death! Prison riots are also a fantastic way to give you an opportunity to escape.

• Anti-Government Riots

If you are someone who can't pay your taxes, can't understand the government, or looking for some fun, this is the right one for you!

There are also some great other riots you can start! Be creative!

Okay, we're ready for the steps! Let's take a look!

• Choose A Motive

What fun is a riot if you have no reason in creating one? The motive of your riot could be anything from racism to a terrible government system! Choose wisely!

• Gather People To Participate

This is the hardest part in starting a riot. You need people who agree with your motive. The best way to find them is to hit the streets. Grab a megaphone and scream at the top of your lungs. Make them feel powerful and encouraged. Make them feel like they are being victims. Other methods of gathering people are email, phone, and telegraph.

• Gather Weapons

The best way to gather weapons is to have a hookup with a high ranking official in the military. They can provide you with state-of-the-art weaponry. If you are a loser and have no sweet hookups, then resort to homemade weaponry. Here is another chance to be creative! You could use anything from tin foil to a baseball bat. The possibilities are endless, I tell you!

• Organize A Time And Place For The Riot To Start

You want a time and place with lots of people around! Mid-afternoon in the center of a big city would be perfect. Also, choose a time and place that would work for everybody that is participating!

• Start The Riot

Here's the easy part. Throw rocks through a store window. Shoot somebody. Shout gibberish through your megaphone. Be chaotic. Make the police show up. If you do things similar to this, then you have started a riot! Yay! You've done it!

I do not encourage or suggest you do any of the acts depicted or described in this article.  This hub was made purely for humor and entertainment purposes only.